


Laundry

by ContrivedCircus, dumbasshoe



Series: Hunter x Hell [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gon is there so we're gonna tag it as underage, Hisoka fucks the soap, Laundry sauce, M/M, Multi, Rough Sex, and that detergent can't be older than 3, detergent, late night at a laundromat, lots of soap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 21:28:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12849879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ContrivedCircus/pseuds/ContrivedCircus, https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbasshoe/pseuds/dumbasshoe
Summary: Gon happens upon Hisoka in the middle of the night---what could go wrong?





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

 

It’s 02:47 when Gon leaves the apartment to do some last-minute laundry at the 24-hour place up his street. He didn’t want Killua to know he’d forgotten to wash his clothes _again_ , so he’d decided to sneak out as quietly as possible, stank Glad™ bag of soiled unmentionables in tow.

He expects the laundromat to be empty; it’s the middle of the night after all. What he doesn’t expect, when he walks through the automatic doors of the white-tile establishment, is to see an oddly familiar magician leaned against one of the running machines. There’s a flickering light directly above his machine, making him stand out in his casual, colorful attire among the silver and white.

Raising an eyebrow, the teen considers leaving, his grip on his Glad bag tightening as he contemplates his options.

However, Hisoka had already noticed the boy’s presence, his gaze turning from the bottle of detergent atop the washer, to Gon standing in the doorway.  
  
“Ah~? Shouldn’t good little kids be in bed by now~?♣”

“What are you doing here?” demands Gonter, pointing a finger at Hisoka.

“...Isn’t it obvious? I’m,” an unsettling smile curls his lips, “getting clean, is all. Don’t you have your own panties to wash? I’m a bit too pre-occupied to tend to you, little one. Another time~.”

  
Frowning, Gon continues his venture inside, picking out a machine several feet away from Hisoka, despite it being far larger than him. He can hear the dim buzz of electricity from the dying light, it’s the only noise. Something about Hisoka’s attitude is suspicious; why would he be at a laundromat at this time of night? Based on their past encounters, wouldn’t Hisoka spend a bit more time on his greeting? Gon wonders what could be so interesting in a laundromat at 2am. Chancing a look back at him, nerves curdled at the sight of Hisoka staring at the rinse cycle, then uncapping his detergent—with movements and a gaze that can only perfectly be described as _lust_ —it rubbed Gon in all the wrong ways and he turned back to his own laundry.

  
Unbeknownst to the little Hunter, Hisoka wasn’t about to start a new load of laundry. Gon hadn’t even stopped to consider that the creepy magician man—who doesn’t hand out candy in a windowless, white van so is a little less creepy—didn’t appear to have any dirty clothes with him. In-fact, all Hisoka appeared to have were the clothes on his body and the bottle of detergent.

  
Across the laundromat, Hisoka poured the thick detergent into the cap, filling it until it was nearly overflowing before gently tipping the large bottle upright again. His gaze never seemed to stray from the smooth, syrupy, blue liquid as the stream thinned before turning into a drip. The way he looked at the detergent was unsettling to say the least, but it wasn’t the creepiest thing Hisoka could be doing.  
Gon had faint memories of a time during the Hunter Exam when he had overheard Hisoka and Gittarackur in their hotel room. Both him and Killua had just returned from the vending machine where they had overloaded their arms with candy bars and soda. As they passed the door to Hisoka and Gittarackur’s room, the voluminous sloughs of Hisoka’s voice had caught their attention. Pausing, the two exchanged a glance, jumping when a far louder cry caught them off guard.  
“Ahhnn, Deeper~! Use the ice cream!”  
  
The memory caused the teen to shudder, he hadn’t wanted to know what was happening _then_ , and he didn’t want to know what was happening _now_ .  
  
With the bottle now upright, Hisoka leans on his elbows, dipping one finger into the blue liquid before gently stirring it around. Beneath him, the washer loudly hummed and vibrated, the perfect conditions for his latest interest.

  
_‘Oh~...’_ Hisoka moans internally.  
  
Pressing his hardening length against the vibrating washing machine, a lustful blush crosses his face as he dips his finger in deeper. The detergent would feel better if it were warm, but he hadn’t yet figured out the best way to warm it without destroying the thick, slippery properties. If only he had discovered this before making his aura into bungee gum.

He removes his coated finger, bringing it up close to his nose. Inhaling deeply, the jester lets out a deep, satisfied sigh. All the while, Gon stares back at the scene, mouthing a silent: ‘What the fuck’.

He shakes himself off, attributing Hisoka’s behavior to simply who he is, and decides the sooner his clothes are washed, the sooner he can get the hell out of here. Gonter throws open the doors of two or three washers, tossing his laundry in and only then realizing that he did not bring any detergent. With only enough change on him to pay for the cycles, the teen casts a wary glance in Hisoka’s direction before looking away again. _Uh-oh._

Peeking back at Hisoka, who is still enraptured with his detergent, Gon clears his throat, “Hey Hisoka,” he looks up, seemingly disturbed from his business, “I was wondering if I could borrow some soap? I forgot to bring some, you see, heh…”

“I’d love to help you out, but I’m afraid my detergent isn’t any good~♠.”  
  
There’s a brief pause, near silence overtaking the small establishment as Hisoka stares hard at Gon.  
  
“Now then...”  
Returning his attention to the bottle before him, he continues sniffing his detergent coated finger, a quiet moan audible over the low hum of the washers.

It’s as if Gon hadn’t asked at all. Understandably taken aback, he does nothing but stare in shock for a few quiet seconds. Hisoka’s composure had never been so visibly disrupted before, Gonter finds himself at a loss for words. How is he supposed to wash his clothes now?  
  
Glancing around the room, he spots a wall mounted vending-thingy with rows of detergent available inside. Counting his money, he decides to only wash two of his three loads, he’ll both have soap _and_ get out of here faster.

Taking his clothes out of one of the washers, he shoves them back into his Glad™ bag, giving another hesitant, disturbed glance in Hisoka’s direction before approaching the machine. After counting out the appropriate amount of change, he retrieves his detergent packets, carrying them back to the machine.  
  
Still situated against the warm, vibrating washing machine, Hisoka continues to swirl his finger in the detergent filled cap. His mind wanders, oblivious now to Gon’s movements. It doesn’t matter what the kid is doing. Previously, he’d found Gon to be as appealing as lemonade on a hot Summer day, but after discovering the absolutely delightful texture of detergent against his sordid skin, he’d changed sexualities. What could be better than this? Before tonight, Hisoka could only imagine what it might have felt like wrapped around his erection, soapy and thick... He had never felt anything quite this pleasing.  
  
Soughing in ecstasy, Hisoka dips in a second finger, enthralled in this simple activity. From across the laundromat, Gon sets up both washers, trying hard not to look at Hisoka, though his eyes wander from time-to-time.  
“What is he doing…” Gon doesn’t want to know, something tells him he’s walked in on something no mortal was ever meant to see.

 _‘I’m going to have nightmares for weeks…’_

He tries to ignore the inappropriate noises coming from behind him with embarrassed acquiescence as he taps his foot impatiently. He’d only just started the washers which meant that 20 more minutes remained in the wash cycle. 20 more minutes of Hisoka’s impassioned moaning to the tune of running washers. In an attempt to distract himself, Gon begins to fold up the now empty packet, his eyes and mind focusing hard on the task until the packet is too small (and tight, and wet, and so-so sexy) to be folded any further. Walking it to the trash can furthest from Hisoka, he drops it into the empty container, lingering  longer than necessary. He didn’t want to return to his washers which were too close to Hisoka. Why couldn’t the laundromat be larger? Gon wanted to be as far away from the perverted clown as he could. After a few minutes of his uncomfortable lingering near the trash can, Gon reluctantly located a seat near the two washers he had running, doing his best to avoid looking at Hisoka.  
  
Kicking his feet, he stares at his lap, the laundromat now louder with the sound of three running washers and Hisoka’s moans. Gon can’t help wishing Killua had come along. He shouldn’t have waited to do his laundry and he definitely shouldn’t have waited until 2AM. In an attempt to distract himself from the increasing onslaught of Hisoka’s moans, Gon pulls out his phone, desperately hoping Candy Crush (lmao) can save him.  
  
Across the rather small laundromat, Hisoka begins to consider indulging in his desires. He’d mostly forgotten about the little Hunter’s presence, it wasn’t relevant, nor did he particularly care what Gon did. What is far more interesting at the moment is the detergent against his skin that is blissfully selcouth, truly encapturing his full attention and dominating his thoughts. Gon could be chewing off his finger, it didn’t matter, those fingers would no longer be touching him in his fantasies, one fewer would change nothing.  
  
Reaching down with his clean hand, Hisoka fumbles with his sweatpants, tugging them down just enough to expose himself. The cap wasn’t deep enough for him to truly enjoy himself, but it would allow him a taste. Enough to hold him over until his clothes finished washing. 

Voyeurs be damned. Hisoka is at the end of what could never possibly be called resistance. With a loud, heated groan, he delves his dick into the shallow cap of liquid ecstasy.

“ _Hahhh_ ~♥”

Gonald swivels around to catch Hisoka dipping his obvious erection into his laundry soap. A furious blush spreads across his shocked features. Maybe Killua’s wrath won’t be as punishing as this sight is...

He turns back around, ashamed and frightened. This might be worse than that day in the wetlands when he first opposed Hisoka. No. It’s absolutely worse. How is he supposed to sit here quietly and pretend that this isn’t happening? Should he say something? No, this is still Hisoka he’s dealing with. Whether or not he has his penis half-soaked in detergent, he shouldn’t question him too much.  
  
The jester, dipping his swollen length into the liquid, shudders as he takes in the sensation. It’s cold, but it feels good, he could cum if he wasn’t hold back. Biting his lip to quiet his moans, Hisoka swirls his cock in the detergent. There was a slight burn in his urethra, but nothing that didn’t serve to arouse him further. This was better than when Illumi and him tried sounding, truly, nothing compared to this feeling or the smell. Picking up his pace a bit, the magician holds the cap steady, thrusting into it as much as he can, allowing louder moans to replace his sighs.  
  
Gon, still stuck in his chair, clenches his teeth to prevent himself from sprinting out of the laundromat. He can’t leave his clothes here, but he also doesn’t want to be outside while he waits for them to finish. He doesn’t want to think about what Hisoka would do with his clothes if he leaves them here. The moans reach his ears all too quickly, surrounding him as his thoughts begin to race. This isn’t what he expected when he set out to do his laundry. Why is Hisoka here anyway? Their suites in Heaven’s Arena came equipped with washers and dryers, does that mean he _wants_ to be seen? This isn’t something he wants to put much thought into… Hisoka’s kinks are not an interest of his…  
  
The cap banged against the side of the washing machine with each short thrust. Hisoka’s breathing is heavier now, eyes half-lidded as he falls thick into the feeling of the detergent. Closing his eyes, he lowers his head, imagining himself fucking the whole bottle, surrounded by smaller bottles.  
The mental image is enough to push the jester over the edge, his voice unrestricted as he loudly moans with his finish.

Squeezing his eyes closed, Gon pulls his shoulders up as he tries to drown out the awful sound. He’s definitely going to have nightmares after this, and he can’t even tell Killua about what he’s seen…

  
Hearing the beep of his washer cycle ending, Gonathan leaps from his chair, tearing the doors clean off the machines as he quickly pulls his still wet clothes out, shoving them into his Glad™ bag before running from the laundromat. He’ll never be able to look at Hisoka, or detergent, the same.  


 

 


	2. Author's Notes

  
  
**Huge thanks to our amazing beta reader, Lost. We would've been in a larger mess without them!**  
  
  
While NinaGoofas1 and I were writing, we would talk 'at' each other on the google doc itself. This is a snippet of some of those conversations.

 

GET YOOUR OWN FUCKKING GODDAMN DETERGENT THIS IS MY DICK JUICE RIGHT HERE I THINK WALGREENS OPEN LIL RINGO-CHAN APPLE LOOKIN HOE WHY DONT YOU FREELOAD OVER THERe?!”  
All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places  
Worn out faces  
Bright and early for  
The morning races  
Going NOWHEREE  
GONALD NOWEHRE  
And i find it kinda funny  
I find it kinda sad  
THAT HISOKA’S SCHWING  
IS THE BEST I’VE EVER HAD♣  
Mad world  
Lmfao♣  
We’re all Hisoka now♣  
Oh shit bitch♣(hisoka)

Imagine hisoka cursing  
“Godfuckingshitdick, Illu… We talked about this… You have to stop digging orifices in our carpet, I’ve had it replaced four times this month. You’re paying for it this time, and I’m moving.”  
Wait. what if. Instead of other words the word for anus in smut is always orifice. Hisoka uses the word in his regular speech. YES ANY WORD FOR HOLE YESS  
‘How was your orifice last night?”  
“My what”  
“Your sleeping orifice.”  
“W-what the fuck specifically”  
“Are you shy about it~?♣”  
“My sleeping….my beeping..sleeping..my sash-ringing….my bash-pinging...flinging….”

Lmaoooo do u kno where this is from????? Omg brb  
I have no clue not the slightest, an orifice?  
I didn’t link it to her, no. I thought we should finish it a little more first. Let me get Hisoka to cum then...  
Yes i agree…..Hisoka should come...Gon should run out in regret…...  
I’m fuckin dyin’ dude. I love this  
Same

_**Honey, you’ve got a big storm comin’.** _

 

Hi welcome to my first fanfic uwu please like and review and maybe ther will be more lemons

XD Hisoka runs depressedly.  
_No need to edit that_

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i personally apologize


End file.
